Ausfailure’s Olympic Meltdown Continues

Source New Zealand Herald gives up a roundup of just how badly the former penile colony is taking the current wave of failure at the London Olympics.

Australia’s Olympic chiefs could do well to think about issuing Kevlar vests to their team.

With unexpected failures in the Games’ opening days, the media flak is already

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Sporting Losses Have Positive Side Effect

Ausfailure AKA Soft Cock Cafe

A decade of a sporting humiliation in Ausfailure men’s sport has had a positive side effect according to latest data from the former penile colony.

Sales of men’s jizz mags has dropped dramatically over the last few years according to media reports.

The latest circulation audit, released this weekend,

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Aussies Celebrate Another Humiliating Loss

Sporting Failure Capital of the World Ausfailure has once more lowered the bar on how embarrassing it’s successive sporting humiliations can go with a predictable loss to Samoa.

Sources from Samoa say they were not surprised to have knocked off the Super 14 champions. “Yeah pro, we won, but when you look at it, we

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Aussies Provide Vital Evolution Link

Chimpanzees' behaviour compares favourably with Australian bosses, according to research.

The verdict is in, evolution is a fact and it has taken Ausfailure to show the world the proof.

While it’s charming to think that arse scratching finger sniffing apes are not our relatives a recent study of the primitive culture of Ausfailure has

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Eat A Koala? Yeah Right

Source: http://www.stuff.co.nz/oddstuff/4770703/Eat-a-koala-stickers-blasted

Car stickers suggesting people should eat koalas have outraged environmental groups, the RSPCA and politicians in Brisbane.

The stickers feature a black knife and fork crossing over the top of the Redland City Council’s colourful koala logo with the words Save The Redlands … Eat a Koala.

The stickers and

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Whinger! Salute to another great Australian trait

Any Aussie who tells you they are not a nation of loser whinging halfwits just needs to be reminded of Kangalose Coach Ricky Stuart’s bleating moaning whingefest that cost him his job after his pack of moaners choked again against New Zealand in a big game, but it’s nice to see the daily press in

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Kangaroos Notch Up A Victory – Finally

The long suffering Aussie sports fan has done it tough these last few years as they have been tied down sport like an unwilling marsupial component of a deviant bondage session and forced to watch their beloved rugby league team take it up the clacker repeatedly by the world champions from New Zealand, a small

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Ashes to ashes: Ockers who hit an all-time low

PHIL GIFFORD – Sunday Star Times

http://www.stuff.co.nz/sport/opinion/4507472/Ockers-who-hit-an-all-time-low

OPINION: Let’s honour the Australian way in sport by kicking them while they’re down.

Punter Ponting’s meltdown during the Ashes debacle at the MCG might have drawn more sympathy if you didn’t recall Steve Waugh’s snipe at Herschelle Gibbs in a world cup final, “You’ve just dropped the

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HUMILIATION ALERT

Ausfailure’s decline as an aquatic superpower was again emphasised at the World Short-Course Championships in Dubai. In case you missed it, the former penile colony finished ninth behind the likes of Spain and Brazil. The London Olympics are only a year away and the bulk of Ausfailure’s medals traditionally come from the pool. Whingers suggest

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Every body needs good neighbours

While it’s very true that Ausfailure is a dump, full of bogan losers and sports stars getting away with all sorts of garbage it’s not all bad news if your refuge boat lands there. New Zealand is only a few more kilometers away and a much nicer place to live and visit, according to experts.

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Ausfailure Wins Poofter Competition

NZ Male Model and All Black Dan Carter In His Lingerie Photo Shoot

Aussies shed tears of pride last night as their poofter team finally managed to out poofter fellow poofters the All Blacks. The All Blacks are a team of male models from New Zealand who have been on a winning streak

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Boat People Help Loser Nation At Games

Officials Check For Medal Hopefuls

Not normally known for opening their arms to visitors Ausfailure does of course have it’s famous double standard when people trying to escape other countries are good at sport.

Being good at sport in Ausfailure is also good for keeping you out of jail if the missus needs snotting

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Ausfailure ‘dumb blonde’ of the world:Official

Aus Prime Minister Interview On Letterman

Australia is viewed as the “dumb blonde” of the world, attractive but shallow and unintelligent, says a visiting British branding expert.

Simon Anholt, who has advised more than 40 countries on national identity and reputation, said Australia’s one-dimensional image meant that events such as attacks on Indian students

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Snatching Defeat From The Jaws Of Victory

Ausfailure wrestler Hassene Fkiri's brain fart costs certain medal at the Commonwealth Games on Tuesday.

It’s often said that you can always tell an Aussie, but you can’t tell him much.

This is because so many of them are stupid.

Look at Aussie Gold Medal hopeful Hassene Fkiri. Fkiri was chasing Ausfailure’s first Commonwealth

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Next Top Muddle

Another one from the ‘Only in Ausfailure department’ as the wrong winner is announced on Ausfailure’s reality TV show ‘Next Top Model’.

Show host Sarah Murdoch wasn’t told who won so ended up announcing the loser as the winner. After the loser had made her victory speech she was them told that like most Aussies

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Evans Sh!ts Tour De France Bed

Aussie Cadel Evans Finishes Stage 9 A Loser

After just one day at the front of the field Ausfailure’s great white hope for sporting glory predictably crapped out of the Tour De France overnight as dreams of victory remain just that – dreams.

Cadel Evans’ hopes of becoming Australia’s first Tour de France champion

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Ausfailure Makes World Cup Rankings

Ausfailure Nil

While the Sockerlose crashed and burned as predicted by this website at the FIFA World Cup at least all is not lost.

Harry Kewell has come out near the top of top website guardian.co.uk player ratings.

Little old New Zealand did pretty well too.

All Whites Ryan Nelsen and Mark Paston are

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Running Scared

Ausfailure Nil

Unlike serious sports websites like www.ausfailure.com which offer expert analysis of Ausfailure’s sporting bed-sh!ts it’s just fuggen wrong to see other websites making fun of the craparse form of the former penile colony.

Ausfailure’s dire sh!theap sports teams are a serious problem and it’s not a good look to see people poking

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Two Time Aussie Losers Heading Home

Sockerlose Homecoming

Back to back Fifa World Cup losers the Sockerlose are in transit to the Airport and heading home after securing defeat on the biggest sports stage in the world just minutes ago.

Ausfailure secured defeat in the opening round of the tournament when they crashed 4 nil against a rookie German side.

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NZ Rugby Team Pips Ausfailure By 45 Points

Ausfailure came as close to beating New Zealand at anything as they have for nearly 25 years when they lost the Junior World Rugby Championship yet again.

NZ 1 – Ausfailure Nil, Again

New Zealand has retained the world junior rugby championship, thumping Australia 62-17 in this morning’s final in Rosario, Argentina.

The Kiwis

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