Kiwis win Masters

Kiwi golfer Tiger Woods today claimed his third Masters win at Augusta today with a one under par 71 to finish three shots clear of South Africa’s Retief Goosen.

The world No 1 secured his seventh major title with a 12-under par total of 276, which was a far better effort than he could muster

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Murphy Denies Warriors Link Up

Australian race car driver Greg Murphy today downplayed his fisticuffs after poor driving by a knuckleheaded competitor caused a major pile up in Sundays Touring Car shebang.

“Driving like that deserves a proper response” said the Kiwi hothead, “but the rumors of Warriors coach Daniel Anderson offering me a start in the weekends clash with

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Wellington Shock Rugby World

The rugby world was today shocked to find the Wellington Hurricanes finally win a game.

The Canes beat comp favorites The Brumbies in a bizarre match at Brumbies home ground 20 – 13.

Australian Rugby Union spokespeople have denied rumors that they are approaching their New Zealand counterparts and offering them another chance at a

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Warriors Leap Into Favoritism For NRL Premiership

New Warriors Signing

Leading bookmakers today shifted their odds on lowly ranked cellar dwellers the New Zealand Warriors following their press conference this morning in Auckland.

Most now had the Warriors at 1/1 to take out the premiership making them unbackable favorites to win everything relentlessly.

The markets were realigned following the shock announcement

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Latest Aussie Whinge ‘Pointless’ Say Experts

When Australia’s team enters the arena during the opening ceremony of the Salt Lake City Winter Olympic Games next month, the athletes will be wearing woolen overcoats made in New Zealand.

Worth more than $2000 retail, the coats were made with a blend of Australian and Kiwi lambswool by Knights of New Zealand under contract

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Australia Sh!tting Bricks In Lead Up To ANZAC Test

‘Packing bricks’ is how Australian sources close to the test team yet to be announced described the camp’s feeling towards the announcement that a neutral referee will officiate in this years ANZAC test.

“Using neutral refs doesn’t help our cause at all, and it goes against the grain to have to accept that.’ said an

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Police Issue Warning As Ocker Sports Fans Lose Again

Victorian Police today advised that any Ockers seen to demonstrate being a poor loser would be best advised in calling into the local cop shop and picking up a copy of the new Police leaflet on ‘How to cop losing at sport all the time’.

Police hope that trying to counsel Ockers that losing can

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Authorities Appeal For Publics Help

John Doe

Rockhampton Police are today appealing to the public for help in identifying a John Doe who has turned up on their doorstep penniless and looking for a place to stay.

Police feel sure that someone somewhere will know the man and hope by publishing the photo someone somewhere will be able to

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Ocker Copyright Shocker

Once considered as Australian as tying down a Kangaroo Sport, Waltzing Matilda was today officially withdrawn as a candidate for the new national anthem.

President of the Queens Republic of Australia, King Packy The Second said he regretted having to withdraw the song but he reiterated “If we have to pay for it then we’ll

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