Ausfailure’s Olympic Meltdown Continues

Source New Zealand Herald gives up a roundup of just how badly the former penile colony is taking the current wave of failure at the London Olympics.

Australia’s Olympic chiefs could do well to think about issuing Kevlar vests to their team.

With unexpected failures in the Games’ opening days, the media flak is already

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Get Down On Your Aussie Knees And Thank God For New Zealand

It had to happen. It always does. When the Aussies crap out they steal a Kiwi, or all of them.

The did it to Phar Lap, Split Enz, Prince Tui Teka and even Russel Crowe until he started behaving like an Ocker.

Aussies even invented a word designed to steal Kiwis as their own –

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Gillard To Blame For Ausfailure’s Olympic Sh!t The Bed

Gillard To Blame For Ausfailure Being Sh!t At Sports For The Last Decade

It’s official.

Ausfailure’s 24 million sore losers have found a scapegoat for their craparse London Olympics effort.

Julia Gillard is the reason the Aussies haven’t been able to cheat a few wins in London.

Gillard became prime minister after former leader

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Ausfailure Losers In Tears At London Olympics

Emily Seebohm couldn’t hold back tears after finishing second in Monday’s 100m backstroke.

As predicted by www.ausfailure.com Aussies are doing a terrific job at showing the world that they are just not quite good enough to be called winners these days.

The world was of course aware of that, but as usual the slow

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As Olympics Loom Ausfailure Shows It’s Choker Class

Greg Norman move over, we have another great white choker.

Ernie Els kept feeling that something special could happen at the British Open, and it did.

But only after a collapse by Adam Scott that no one imagined.

Four shots ahead with four holes to play – after eight straight holes with nothing worse than

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Kiwi beer beats Aussies at their own awards

Source: http://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=10808510&ref=rss

Monteith’s Brewing Company has shown it has what it takes when it comes to brewing beer, winning awards at the 2012 Australian International Beer Awards this week.

The old West Coast brewery in Greymouth collected a silver medal for the Monteith’s Celtic Red and two bronze medals for Monteith’s Pilsner and Monteith’s Original.

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Ausfailure Lose The Unloseable

You’d think the dumb ocker fatheads would have learned something by now wouldn’t you?

Just when you thought they couldn’t slip further down the slippery slope along comes some utter flipping drongo and adds another bucket of grease to the trip.

When Lockyer got his head kicked in by a team mate and ended his

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Lard Arse Nation In Denial

Ausfailure’s sh!thouse sporting efforts over the last 10 – 20 years have seen a negative side effect on the physical and mental health of this nation of professional losers, according to latest scientific studies.

Aussies ‘in denial’ about being overweight

SOURCE

They may live in the lucky country but Australians are in denial about their

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Sporting Losses Have Positive Side Effect

Ausfailure AKA Soft Cock Cafe

A decade of a sporting humiliation in Ausfailure men’s sport has had a positive side effect according to latest data from the former penile colony.

Sales of men’s jizz mags has dropped dramatically over the last few years according to media reports.

The latest circulation audit, released this weekend,

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Aussies Celebrate Another Humiliating Loss

Sporting Failure Capital of the World Ausfailure has once more lowered the bar on how embarrassing it’s successive sporting humiliations can go with a predictable loss to Samoa.

Sources from Samoa say they were not surprised to have knocked off the Super 14 champions. “Yeah pro, we won, but when you look at it, we

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The Problem Gambling Capital Of The World

"Gambling is for people who don't understand arithmetic" According to Oswald P Wrong

It’s called chasing your money. Betting too much on your mob of losers to win the Tri Nations in Leeds, then doing it again for a win at 80 minutes in the next Tri Nations, then backing them to win the

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Another Day, Another Failure

There's always next year

It’s not every day that records are set at Augusta, home of the Masters Golf Tournament, but every day some hacker fails to break the course record.

So it was when Loser Nation representative Jason Day came within one shot of the course record after his second round at the

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Apple Growers Big Whinge Becomes Big Wank

Apple Growers Face Stiff Competition

Source: http://www.thesatellite.com.au/story/2011/04/05/big-apple-turns-into-big-protest-warwick-nz-apples/

Aussies apple growers have not taken being told that their illegal import restrictions against high quality New Zealand apples lying down.

After locals banded together to apply for funding to repaint the Granite Belt’s iconic Big Apple they settled on a new white apple with a red

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Aussies Provide Vital Evolution Link

Chimpanzees' behaviour compares favourably with Australian bosses, according to research.

The verdict is in, evolution is a fact and it has taken Ausfailure to show the world the proof.

While it’s charming to think that arse scratching finger sniffing apes are not our relatives a recent study of the primitive culture of Ausfailure has

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Eat A Koala? Yeah Right

Source: http://www.stuff.co.nz/oddstuff/4770703/Eat-a-koala-stickers-blasted

Car stickers suggesting people should eat koalas have outraged environmental groups, the RSPCA and politicians in Brisbane.

The stickers feature a black knife and fork crossing over the top of the Redland City Council’s colourful koala logo with the words Save The Redlands … Eat a Koala.

The stickers and

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Ausfailure’s Soft Spot For Crime Denied

Intelligent people watching as Ausfailure parades it’s world famous criminals all over the TV as rugby league stars can be excused for wondering if they are watching a street gang celebrate it’s crimes.

When the NR-Hell awarded Andrew Johns the title of World’s Greatest Player some wondered if they wanted other players to assimilate Johns

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The Criminal Boat People Story They’re Not Telling

Yeah, the Aussies are pretty upset with illegal boatloads of criminals coming to their shores. Some argue that the concern is just a mask for rampant xenophobia and part of the war on Islam that fills the newspapers daily with stories of bigotry and hate.

Aussies the world over are blogging about how criminal elements

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Report reveals deep racial divides in Oz

Source http://www.nzherald.co.nz/world/news/article.cfm?c_id=2&objectid=10708312

CANBERRA – A decade-long study has uncovered a disturbing level of ill-will towards Muslims, Jews and Asians across Australia.

The study, which identifies ethnic and racial tensions by state, suburb and rural areas, was released as divisions continued to emerge over anti-Muslim feeling within the federal Coalition.

It also follows appeals by Immigration

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Whinger! Salute to another great Australian trait

Any Aussie who tells you they are not a nation of loser whinging halfwits just needs to be reminded of Kangalose Coach Ricky Stuart’s bleating moaning whingefest that cost him his job after his pack of moaners choked again against New Zealand in a big game, but it’s nice to see the daily press in

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Kangaroos Notch Up A Victory – Finally

The long suffering Aussie sports fan has done it tough these last few years as they have been tied down sport like an unwilling marsupial component of a deviant bondage session and forced to watch their beloved rugby league team take it up the clacker repeatedly by the world champions from New Zealand, a small

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