Ausfailure’s Olympic Meltdown Continues

Source New Zealand Herald gives up a roundup of just how badly the former penile colony is taking the current wave of failure at the London Olympics.

Australia’s Olympic chiefs could do well to think about issuing Kevlar vests to their team.

With unexpected failures in the Games’ opening days, the media flak is already

Continue reading Ausfailure’s Olympic Meltdown Continues

Get Down On Your Aussie Knees And Thank God For New Zealand

It had to happen. It always does. When the Aussies crap out they steal a Kiwi, or all of them.

The did it to Phar Lap, Split Enz, Prince Tui Teka and even Russel Crowe until he started behaving like an Ocker.

Aussies even invented a word designed to steal Kiwis as their own –

Continue reading Get Down On Your Aussie Knees And Thank God For New Zealand

Gillard To Blame For Ausfailure’s Olympic Sh!t The Bed

Gillard To Blame For Ausfailure Being Sh!t At Sports For The Last Decade

It’s official.

Ausfailure’s 24 million sore losers have found a scapegoat for their craparse London Olympics effort.

Julia Gillard is the reason the Aussies haven’t been able to cheat a few wins in London.

Gillard became prime minister after former leader

Continue reading Gillard To Blame For Ausfailure’s Olympic Sh!t The Bed

Ausfailure Losers In Tears At London Olympics

Emily Seebohm couldn’t hold back tears after finishing second in Monday’s 100m backstroke.

As predicted by www.ausfailure.com Aussies are doing a terrific job at showing the world that they are just not quite good enough to be called winners these days.

The world was of course aware of that, but as usual the slow

Continue reading Ausfailure Losers In Tears At London Olympics

As Olympics Loom Ausfailure Shows It’s Choker Class

Greg Norman move over, we have another great white choker.

Ernie Els kept feeling that something special could happen at the British Open, and it did.

But only after a collapse by Adam Scott that no one imagined.

Four shots ahead with four holes to play – after eight straight holes with nothing worse than

Continue reading As Olympics Loom Ausfailure Shows It’s Choker Class

Sporting Losses Have Positive Side Effect

Ausfailure AKA Soft Cock Cafe

A decade of a sporting humiliation in Ausfailure men’s sport has had a positive side effect according to latest data from the former penile colony.

Sales of men’s jizz mags has dropped dramatically over the last few years according to media reports.

The latest circulation audit, released this weekend,

Continue reading Sporting Losses Have Positive Side Effect

Aussies Celebrate Another Humiliating Loss

Sporting Failure Capital of the World Ausfailure has once more lowered the bar on how embarrassing it’s successive sporting humiliations can go with a predictable loss to Samoa.

Sources from Samoa say they were not surprised to have knocked off the Super 14 champions. “Yeah pro, we won, but when you look at it, we

Continue reading Aussies Celebrate Another Humiliating Loss

Another Day, Another Failure

There's always next year

It’s not every day that records are set at Augusta, home of the Masters Golf Tournament, but every day some hacker fails to break the course record.

So it was when Loser Nation representative Jason Day came within one shot of the course record after his second round at the

Continue reading Another Day, Another Failure

Soccerlose Choke, Again

After teasing Aussie sports fans with crushing wins over Uzbekistan, Bahrain and India Aussie’s World Cup failures the Soccerlose once more choked badly when it counted and fell over losing to Japan in the Asia Cup Final.

The Soccerlose also lost to Japan the last time they made the final as well, so at least

Continue reading Soccerlose Choke, Again

New Years Honours List

Biggest Losers for 2010

CRICKET: Lost the T20 to England, lost the One Day Series to England, lost the Test Series to England, lost the ashes for a third time to England. Biggest Loser Gold Medal.

Honorable Efforts

KEVIN RUDD: Toppled as prime minister in his first term by his deputy Julia Gillard. Rudd stepped

Continue reading New Years Honours List

Aussies lose Ashes on home soil

Ausfailure sh!thouse even at cricket now

AUSTRALIA 98 and 9-258 (Haddin 55no, Watson 54, Bresnan 4-50) lost to ENGLAND 513 (Trott 168no, Cook 82, Siddle 6-75) by an innings and 157 runs.

ENGLAND’s 24-year wait to leave Australia with the Ashes is over.

The visitors needed just under 20 overs on day four

Continue reading Aussies lose Ashes on home soil

Rugby League Failure Only Tip Of Sh!tty Iceberg

As expected Ausfailure crapped out yet again to the World Champion Kiwis in the rugby league, that’s the third time in 4 finals that the Ockers have choked.

The rugby union mob were national heros last week after finally knocking off the male model dominated All Blacks after 10 failed attempts, but proved that was

Continue reading Rugby League Failure Only Tip Of Sh!tty Iceberg

Relief At Hand For Small Dicked Ockers

While importers of Japan grade condoms are happy with the fact that the average Ausfailure man’s dick is 4 inches according to secret government cover-ups not too many others are thrilled with the problem.

Aussie lasses are the biggest losers over the issue and many have ditched the Aussie bloke for more substantially endowed lads

Continue reading Relief At Hand For Small Dicked Ockers

Aussies On Target To Lose Yet Another Ashes Series

Source http://uk.eurosport.yahoo.com/31102010/58/australia-lose-home-t20-record.html

Kangaroo Roadkill, or Aussie Cricket Team 2010 Style

Sri Lanka became the first side to beat Australia in a Twenty20 International on their own soil after they won their match in Perth by seven wickets.

Australia’s poor form across all forms of the game ahead of the Ashes series

Continue reading Aussies On Target To Lose Yet Another Ashes Series

Boat People Help Loser Nation At Games

Officials Check For Medal Hopefuls

Not normally known for opening their arms to visitors Ausfailure does of course have it’s famous double standard when people trying to escape other countries are good at sport.

Being good at sport in Ausfailure is also good for keeping you out of jail if the missus needs snotting

Continue reading Boat People Help Loser Nation At Games

Snatching Defeat From The Jaws Of Victory

Ausfailure wrestler Hassene Fkiri's brain fart costs certain medal at the Commonwealth Games on Tuesday.

It’s often said that you can always tell an Aussie, but you can’t tell him much.

This is because so many of them are stupid.

Look at Aussie Gold Medal hopeful Hassene Fkiri. Fkiri was chasing Ausfailure’s first Commonwealth

Continue reading Snatching Defeat From The Jaws Of Victory

Next Top Muddle

Another one from the ‘Only in Ausfailure department’ as the wrong winner is announced on Ausfailure’s reality TV show ‘Next Top Model’.

Show host Sarah Murdoch wasn’t told who won so ended up announcing the loser as the winner. After the loser had made her victory speech she was them told that like most Aussies

Continue reading Next Top Muddle

Sheilas Homo Rant Follows Mel’s Jew and ‘Nigger’ Remarks

Insert Here

Aussies are fed up with being losers and that’s completely understandable in the post cheating era where winning isn’t as easy as it used to be for the under performers from down under. Unfortunately they’ve been having their arses dished up on a plate for so long that even a crappy win

Continue reading Sheilas Homo Rant Follows Mel’s Jew and ‘Nigger’ Remarks

Aus Bends Over For Pakistanis

Bluey Crackersport at Headingly Watching Ausfailure Lose, Again

1995.

So long ago. That was the last time Ausfailure were sh!thouse enough for the world’s worst cricket team, Pakistan, to cream them

But overnight at Headingly in Leeds Ausfailure relented and after a humiliating 1st innings of just a meagre 88 they served their arses

Continue reading Aus Bends Over For Pakistanis

Money Changes Hands As Fighter Performs 10/10 Backflip On Dive

10 out of 10 for this dive?

Was it a fit up? The bookies say it was…

http://www.heraldsun.com.au/news/national/danny-green-paul-briggs-fight-was-fixed-claim-bookies/story-e6frf7l6-1225895871887

The blokes counting the money says it wasn’t.

http://www.heraldsun.com.au/sport/danny-green-backflip-on-paul-briggs-fight-farce/story-e6frf9if-1225895740070

DANNY Green has performed the ultimate backflip, claiming Paul Briggs didn’t take a dive and was legitimately hurt by his glancing punch in last night’s controversial IBO

Continue reading Money Changes Hands As Fighter Performs 10/10 Backflip On Dive